OK, so it's been a few days since my last post. I've been battling a cold. Now that I'm recovered I can blog again. Did I go to the doctor? Of course not! Mexicans don't go to the doctor until we've tried every home remedy our moms and abuelitas used when we were kids.
Now, what was the first thing your parents used to tell you when you told them you weren't feeling well? "Tomate un Esprite." (Drink a Sprite.)
Ah yes, Sprite, the magic elixir that some even think can cure cancer and AIDS. Or, if you were lucky and were able to find it, you drank Sidral (apple-flavored soda). So you drink your carbonated beverage and you still feel under the weather. What now you ask? Well then they rubbed your chest with bicks (Vick's vaporub). Ah yes, nothing cures diseases like the smell of menthol. OK, so now you've had a refreshing beverage and you've been rubbed with menthol-scented petroleum gel. Still feeling sick? Well, it's time to bring out the big guns! No, not the medical-school trained professional we call the doctor. I'm talking about the yerbabuena! (That's mint, to you gringos.) That's right, just brew up a batch of tea made from these magical mint leaves and there's no way those germs will still be acting up inside that body of yours.
So let's say the Big Three didn't work. Do your parents break down and take you to the doctor? Perish the thought! It's time to go to the flea market and track down that old lady who sells antibiotics from Mexico and herbal supplements. (Also, if you're bad enough, she'll rub an egg all over you!) So you go home with a bag full of penicillin, herbs and something that smells like toluene and Chanel #5 mixed together and looks like it could blow up half a city block.
So why are Mexicans so reluctant to see the doctor? Well other than the fact that they're going to CHARGE you (eek!) the real reason is that if you go to the doctor, he's going to find something. That's right, you don't get diabetes until you see the doctor. You're 300 pounds and sit around all day, but you're healthy until that doctor gets a hold of you!
Back to my battle with the cold. I already told you that I didn't go see the doctor. So what did I do? Well, we had plenty of Sprite on hand but unfortunately I could not locate the Vick's. (Don't tell my mom!) I opted to forgo the yerbabuena but I did Nyquil the crap out of that cold! Now I'd like to hear what your home remedies include, my fellow Mexicans.
You did forget to mention putting on Vicks on your feet and then wearing socks. Or taking a warm bath and mom putting rubbing alcohol in the water so your fever will go away. The indigestion you felt because you ate your gum, the "lady" pulls on the skin on your back so far up that she hears a pop. You've just been healed of "empachamiento." There are so many more. I'm sure I will remember. I do unfortunaltely take my kids to the doctor since they are asthmatics and well my nephew's medicine only goes a long way after runs out. I too go the doctor but only after I have raided my medicine cabinet for left over antibiotics, ear drops, eye drops and whatever I have been able to collect through the years. So funny!
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I forgot about them pulling the skin on your back when you get "empachado." How about putting one end of a cone of newspaper in your ear and lighting the other end when you had an ear ache?
ReplyDeleteI have heard SO many of these from my patients (even my non-Mexican ones). I have an elderly patient who buys a jar of Vicks (Bicks!) a month and he puts it on his feet every night so he won't get tuberculosis. I'd argue with him, but hey... he doesn't have it, so it must be working!!!!
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